like

An up from like

I love Spotify

and the music overload I can fit into some salvaged hours I own


ok

this is a surreal recommendation

I love

LOVE

all the Temper Trap remixes


This is like sex, drugs, morphine you could get from a constant rotation of pleasure


that good


heart tapping

shoulders pulsing

faint head achieved

the beats, the synths, the mix

Too good!!!


The Temper Trap // Fader (Rockdaworld Superdub Extended Edit RMX)

The Temper Trap // Fader (Adam Freeland RMX)

The Temper Trap // Fader (Jakwob RMX)


it covers the majority of genres and intergrating Dub-step which is always a pace pleasure to jump the song to feel that euphoria which then somehow has that mellow skip..

just the perfect mix of feel good with exceptional tempo levels in the 5 mintues...

oh i really want to go out tonight

but so gutting as I had to say no because of work commitments


what to do

life changing

i have met my match


it comes in the form of a buritto

namely The Breakfast Burrito

here are the ingredients for my future reference

fresh Buritto wrap lightly toasted
3 lightly fluffy scrambled eggs
melty luscious chedder(?) cheese
green & yellow grilled peppers with a smokey hint
guacomole green loving
immense spicey heaven chunky chorizo chunks with every bite

and side helping on the plate of
salsa loving
guacolmole loving
green leafy Rocket loving

edit// +sour cream nearly forgot their furthermore generosity
and note, the burrito was bigger than my head..! just sayin


Get this Breakfast Burrito loving

Go

The Breakfast Club
Hoxton/Shoreditch
London

Don't prolong the mouth watering


It's in one of the side streets, look out for the lit up circle sign, sandwich board. It's quite hidden away, like a secret hove to be discovered. it's quite easy to miss, thank god I was introduced to this eatery delight as I walk around with my eyes half shut all most of the time.

myself and my friends were awaiting to be seated
(it gets mega busy = mass people means good reviews! Yeh!)

It's notcieable that this is where the beautiful people come to eat here

Beautiful people need to eat

and with the assistance of a big felt hat, its how it's done.


A great atmosphere

superb decor

and yummy waiters (what can I say he was wearing a smiths tee, winner!)


I'll deffo repay some buritto loving with another visit

Get that blueberry stack pancakes next time


nomcious

found

random want for something to listen to on itunes

turns into something i missed so so much

Au Revoir Simone // Knight of Wands (Straight Up! RMX)


it's probably my update version of a song i would play if was having sex

and was feeling for some easy electro mellow jamm


here's too hoping

greed

sometimes i just want a quick fix

but then it just won't suffice and at the end of the day, it's never worth it

i'm not having fun


i've had a couple of outings

so there's kind of been opportunities for me to get to know people

however

i've developed this thing

i've become 'it'


stuck up


i've gone extremely judgemental and snuff people that are just what I define as revolting and maybe an extreme reaction of mine

but I can't help it

there's this something about people that immediately give off an impression that they are just an 'empty shell'

no substance

I'm not for one to ask of someone from the get go

but it just seems that more and more people (people i mean by fellas)

are predictable, non?

all generic

the last outing I was with my friend, and she is far too giving for such a pretty face that this guy thinks he's broken in and on it for tonight

but as she's straight talking she brandishes him and tells him after he tries to make an advance from pure self reassurance of his hornyness

no I won't shag you

and this was after he chased her down the street and tapped her on the shoulder with the look of 'aren't you forgetting something?'

hilarious!

oh really

really??


just a reason why i won't suffice for anyone

it just seems that the men around London are not up to scratch

thoughts

oh no

just when i got my sleeping back on track

i decide to take 2 naps in one day and now i can't sleep

me and my greedy self

i hate this

because it leaves me time to think about things i would rather not

especially this one..

i really miss someone


i hate being single

I hate every single thing about it

and especially in London where the people are not so great and the hope is not there

i know me being patient has now overridden to non existence to where I have forgotten what it's like to wait and wonder and lust

i just don't expect anymore

more pessimistic

don't notice whats going on

and kind feeling pathetic and run down with low self esteem

i've really lost my spark

man cool

oah yeh

something that slipped my mind

only just remembered after pondering


The men of London are very peculiar

i use the word strange too often and peculiar really grasps what I'm trying say

I've been looking at fixtures and settings for the venture that I'm doing with my boss, that means we will venture out and about looking for inspiration

anyway with my Salami Kosher Bagel intact (in my mouth)

we were admiring these really mod furnishings outside at trendy cafe

and all of a sudden this bearded man in a van was laughing at me, really marvelling at me..

he was waving at me

and looking at me quite oddly

almost to talk to me or whatever


i just looked up at him quite passively


and he seemed quite shy and peeped at me through the window

He was quite hott, don't get me wrong
kind of like a hairy yeti caught at work

but there just seems to be this lack of 'man' in men in London

and then.

On another location to view architecture

me and my manager were immensely divulged into gazing the building ahead of this building being magnificently clad in rusted metal that had been treated to look like brick walls but at a larger scale.

'oh my GOD. That guy thought we were both totally checking him out!! We were walking directly towards him and his eyes lit up! He really thought he was onto something!!!'

really

really??

where

eh I didn't see him!


and then you have the hubbub of cool male outside smokers who insist on keeping their rain speckled rayban glasses on, when it's pissing it down with rain

after choking on the last puff

then they don't know how remain their substance of uber coolness to wipe the rain free from the glasses to see where they are going

bloody hell

there's cool and then there's plain common sense and get on with it

fools

mix

aphex twin // fingerbib


late mellow sunday bop

just had a moment of erratic-ness


there's a life drawing class on weds that I really want to attend

but it's pretty extortionate price to pay to attend for one class

not sure the quality of the event will be as the price is so much..

be good to get myself on the roll to doing more things in London



will see

hip hop makes me sleepy

much to annoyance on the train journey home

the only radio station fit to listen with no static fuzziness

for some reason it is like an unfortunate roulette game that always lands on Zane Lowe's show

I am really not a fan of him

his ego gets in the way of doing his job

and then he plays an awful mix of tunes that makes the end of the day even nauseous

then to top off that constant hard microphone blurb he'll jabber on when you've got earplugs in, its the most frustrating thing to need to take them out to avoid Lowe's noise

migraine

migraine

migraine



this is making me try harder to want to buy an ipod

and i actually like hip hop too

shame

old times

remember this song

natalie imbruglia // wrong impression


listening to gushy radio stations at the office

not such a bad thing

noticing..

Last night

after a pretty resounding day at the office

ended with a good Smiths song playing in the office to listen to before I left

left me in a brilliant mood

it just reminds me of the times I lived on my own and the photographic imagery of sepia tinted vision of freedom I use to have..

anyway

I was to meet up my friends and go to a gig but had some spare hours to burn

i have this stigma of feeling lonely


what impression & perception it gives you and to others when your on your own

anyway I wanted to embrace this

see what it feels like to be a lone stranger

I always see lone strangers and some can be so confident

maybe nonchalant

maybe ashamed

maybe an agenda to get on with

So i had 2 good hearty hours to fill and pace out

I had my bagels intact

wanted to be that lone stranger who seemed occupied in some eating

and with the bagel being the standard Brick Lane dare i say it 'it' food

it wouldn't cause any harm or offense as a normal shop bought sandwich


it was strange


I was walking around aimlessly with no sense of time because it was spare

I noticed this other lone stranger

who kind of trailed me

as he was on the same pace as me ( i figured this, because I paced even slower and he followed and a breezy lone stranger himself )

and then I ended up going to this vegetarian bar/eatery funky beats place

with people en mass lounging with their apple macs popped open showing their status of uber coolness

and then this ultimate lone strange with his apple mac decided to position himself beside me (which was strange as it wasn't the best spot in comparison to the spare mass space around the bar left elsewhere)

he was uber cool and a good looking guy

the ultimate beautiful lone stranger lurking around me

he tried to distract me or get my attention or something or whatever it was
I've forgotten how to respond to these situations

so bloody useless I am

and to top off

i had an odd admirer who lurked around me and his friends puzzled over his not so incognito emotive, which then alas led to him taking sneaky pictures of me more than trice times

creep

although harmless but still now I'm floating around on his pictures and that beautiful lone stranger noticed

the journey ends here when my friend calls up that she's arrived and my time of the lone stranger ends

this made me notice how people reacted to realise after that moment that i was never in fact a lone stranger, i had an agenda.

which made me realise

it's not so bad being lonely

you see things definitely in a tinted perspective


and attract anonymous beautiful strangers

moment

getting to know

that road called Brick Lane


everyone has an opinion of this area

but anyway

i don't know

I seem to be there quite frequent and spotted numerous models

ala spotted that jethro cave and that Ash Symest

(ahem who is my background wallpaper but only because I like the styling of the shoot and the materials he is wearing. No, seriously)

but then when there's a moment I would've loved to have whipped my camera out

and been that impressed individual to furore over somewhat normal looking person

so I was hesitant to try and take a picture and merely for a second brushed off that 5 second glare before resuming the East End intense stomp walk

and then that time from yesterday

As I ventured into a pub/ bar to use the toilet

to then walk on to a music video being filmed

(also I think I have a small cameo in that some unknown video where I seem to be lurking around the sides to get past to the bathroom, with my camera intact acting like that someone who gets overly excited)

London is making me realise

wow things really do happen when you stop trying to look

Bagel

a new food crush


3 bagels in a day to be exact

there's something about them as discovered from the best bagel shop ever on Brick Lane

I was introduced to them as a pretty 'Standard' must have tried/eat from London

and yes

I'm in love

bagel love fiend

and so it was

Cream cheese and Smoked Salmon Bagel

Kosher Salami Bagel x 2

and the price is immense too

why is it when the cost of something bumps up the tastiness

and in this case, its such a perfect all rounder

(woah, hello pun!)

anyway there's something about these magical chewy tasty goodness

it's kind of like this magical happy food

and just having remnants of that smokey salmon so beautiful scrumptious

i'm already having Bagel pangs

sigh

so tasty...

organising

and prioritising

just read my trusty future finder

horoscope


it says

so many men, so little time


such a lie!!!!!!

biggest fib ever

true about time

but at the moment being a singleton for the longest period I have ever come across

(reaching the 2 years single mark post)

I haven't met anyone yet

apart from the stray swedish boy who entered the office looking for directions

my mangaer said he was clearly into me

I was oblivious and missed this

I've lost my spark

don't know how to regain it truth be told

esteem

I have none

i feel really destroyed at the moment

also a mixture of annoyance, regret and frustration


a few weeks ago on a night outing

a real need to enjoy myself after a hardcore stressful week

it was a spur of the moment thing to leave the office and meet up with my friends to have dinner and then go out

i'm still not familiar with the social scene in London

either you fit in or you don't

or you follow the crowd

and conform to the grunge punk ethos uniform compiled by the Dalston/ Shoreditch crowd

anyway

we hit a club where some swedish DJs were playing

the club was compact and narrow and the club space was very awkward but cosy

so here's when I feel destroyed

I got the look of 'up and down' finger pointing by a random tart


for real

and I feel destroyed by this

a complete ephiphany and it's spiralled into a self hating taunt

i haven't recovered from this and believe that I've been having Bad Face days, Bad Hair days, Bad Body days, Bad Skin days, Bad Nails days..

i've crashed

my posture is broken

i don't even walk with my head held high and shoulders crouched in

and now this

thats why frustration kicks in

with whats left of my confidence, if even i had any in the first place

how did i let a random chubby brown haired tart, adorned in white jersey mini dress make me feel so crap

i bruise easily

but still

she wore a freaking white jersey dress

really

jersey?

222

huge problem

after starting my internship

it involves a lot of buying, merchandising and PR-ing

this is really bad

I am constantly surrounded by opportunities to buy and use my influence on what is viable for prospect consumers, future trends and my 'taste' on fashion for buying opportunities

Every single trip that I have gone during buying

I have also purchased on behalf for my personal self

shit shit shit

when

It's one of them situations where I want it for myself

greed

I don't want to give it away for selling to merchandise

selfish

and I may never see it again

Lust

all leading to stupidity

I'm just weighing this up and to combat

I need a job

asap

fingers crossed as my manager is looking to give me a part time job

which leads to another argument

no more sleep for me

with the lack of sleep that is going on at the moment

sigh

Life

mail

why hello

there's patience

and then there's patience to the limit and beyond then forgotton

Spotify

finally! account is mine!!

euphoric


problem

i have itunes

what good is spotify again

sleep is the brother of death

mega

mega tired

it's been non stop and i have been fighting for time to find the time to sleep

if that makes sense non?

right this minuten

so tired

so sleepy

sleep deprivation

nicht so gut

if you follow the signs


maybee

maybee you'll make it

wishful hoping

and discover something that makes you want more

which leads to anticipation

to have found something great

stay positive

devastated ii


when i was on a carb loving mission

i bought some buns with sweet fillings in

due to excitement of the frenzied carb purchasing

frenzied because i went around to different areas looking for more 'variety' and 'indifference's' to please the carb palette

i picked up this delicate bun roundness with a shiny sheen to the surface

i believed i picked up the one with red bean paste filling bun

nein

non

nooooooooo

just chomped half way

and some more

i'm such a fool

I read the label to realise I've picked up butter rolls

darn

still they are tasty nothing offensive as always where i purchased it from never fails to disappoint me

still devastated nonetheless

devastated


I found these awesome balloon ( note: not hareem. gag ) silk trousers

they were parfait

they were an old united benetton label american size 42 on the waist

problem

i'm not massive and i'm not skinny

but i just couldn't get the fuckers on

i had to breathe in a little and it was high waisted

but it didn't fall to the ankles which was a shame

but other than that, they would've been so perfect

the silk print was so beautiful

and i am devastated that I don't have it in my life

sigh

catch up


ok

my tuesday interview went super cool

really pleased as I start monday

winner!

on the way back home I fell asleep on the train and missed my stop where the train terminated I had to travel back half-way to get home

dumb dumb


Wednesday second interview went amazingly super cool

the people were so friendly it was dead informal

I made great contacts and friended the people

(is friended a word..)

after the meeting I went and treated myself to a load of carbs

sweet filling filled buns from chinatown

and sushi from Japan centre

I almost forgot that they go half price after the end of the day

so seeing as the produce is mega high quality at a cut price

I got a couple of sushi platters


all round super day

and i'm beat

good days can be so exhausting

ahoy


I want to wear more

to don more accessories

but I have to compensate with this one without looking too over done

I always have to, its a must wear earrings

Or else I feel naked and unbalanced and feel exposed

I occasionally wear rings depending whether my fingers are not having a fat-finger-day

its a killer when you strangle them off to go to bed

but yeh

I would like to wear neckwear

I already in place have my scarves that hug me

but i would like to make use of my necklaces and adornments

but that would mean I would have to compensate my other 'me' items

lets see if i get my top ear pierced maybe I could meet halfway to combating the over-done look


in other news

my nose is getting rather sensitive

rather random

I got a nose bleed for the first time since whenever

nose bleeds were so 90s

to do list


i need to buy a hand held blender

going to japan centre tomorrow after the interview


shit!

the interview what to wear?

just remembered to take resume

i'm getting nervous although hopefully i'll be calm and collective


another deadline beaten

so over it

anyway

shitting tomorrow