noticing..

Last night

after a pretty resounding day at the office

ended with a good Smiths song playing in the office to listen to before I left

left me in a brilliant mood

it just reminds me of the times I lived on my own and the photographic imagery of sepia tinted vision of freedom I use to have..

anyway

I was to meet up my friends and go to a gig but had some spare hours to burn

i have this stigma of feeling lonely


what impression & perception it gives you and to others when your on your own

anyway I wanted to embrace this

see what it feels like to be a lone stranger

I always see lone strangers and some can be so confident

maybe nonchalant

maybe ashamed

maybe an agenda to get on with

So i had 2 good hearty hours to fill and pace out

I had my bagels intact

wanted to be that lone stranger who seemed occupied in some eating

and with the bagel being the standard Brick Lane dare i say it 'it' food

it wouldn't cause any harm or offense as a normal shop bought sandwich


it was strange


I was walking around aimlessly with no sense of time because it was spare

I noticed this other lone stranger

who kind of trailed me

as he was on the same pace as me ( i figured this, because I paced even slower and he followed and a breezy lone stranger himself )

and then I ended up going to this vegetarian bar/eatery funky beats place

with people en mass lounging with their apple macs popped open showing their status of uber coolness

and then this ultimate lone strange with his apple mac decided to position himself beside me (which was strange as it wasn't the best spot in comparison to the spare mass space around the bar left elsewhere)

he was uber cool and a good looking guy

the ultimate beautiful lone stranger lurking around me

he tried to distract me or get my attention or something or whatever it was
I've forgotten how to respond to these situations

so bloody useless I am

and to top off

i had an odd admirer who lurked around me and his friends puzzled over his not so incognito emotive, which then alas led to him taking sneaky pictures of me more than trice times

creep

although harmless but still now I'm floating around on his pictures and that beautiful lone stranger noticed

the journey ends here when my friend calls up that she's arrived and my time of the lone stranger ends

this made me notice how people reacted to realise after that moment that i was never in fact a lone stranger, i had an agenda.

which made me realise

it's not so bad being lonely

you see things definitely in a tinted perspective


and attract anonymous beautiful strangers