lighter

i do alot of thinking

yet for me,

thinking is not good for me

as i have so many cloudy thoughts

i have intense anxiety attacks now


this means nothing gets resolved

and

become jumbled up



anyway

a sight for the hills


writing on here helps

and also decluttering my bedroom

the room that objectifies my thoughts and memories in one confined space


I am taking to throwing out alot of stuff

it's been hard

i am such a hoarder

too many trinkets of memories

but anyway cut throat

lets get on with it


it feels good



what helps is declaring to myself

if my life can fit into one backpack what would i take

[ inspired by the film, Up into the Air ]


i need to be ruthless

it feels good

it's only one step at a time

and every clear out gets bigger and bigger

which shows how many clear outs i'll be needing if i am to be taking out so many clear outs, if that makes sense



anyway

i am rather burnt out today

albeit a feel-good momentum styley



meh


[also my scatter brain, i am making so many spelling, grammer errors. i hate this so much, i hate unpolished writing and i hate atrocious spelling, it just isn't on, for my standards that i hold against myself]

aaand relax