i hate myself sometimes for reacting in ways that i can't control
i keep finding myself lost
losing myself deep in my thoughts
and i find myself crying
and fucking hate this and i beat myself up about it
i still can't get over my grandad passing away
i completely understand that, that's how life rolls
i am totally a rational person
but what frustrates me is why can't i control myself to calm myself
i hate lingering on a subject
and why do i cry in moments?
i don't understand this.