need to make the things happen to keep me occupied
I sound like a broken record
when did this happen
i want improvements
quick & fast
-i received a tall box that came in the post today and inside were a bouquet of flowers, pink ones, white ones, indigo ones, ones that haven't opened up yet and greenery ones to balance out the fuchsia
Note this has never happened to me so its a rather mementos moment finally
I make it pretty obvious whether i am into someone or not
this goes from living with my hot blond housemates for 3 years, make boys feel inferior and not bother and that they could pick boys up like flys to turd that, hey lifes too short and fellas suck at being smooth at the game (doesn't apply to the north, they know what to do)
on my recent night out, you get the hopeless scum of the crowd that think they have the chance
apparently I give off the most not interested, move, don't touch me look very well. so its clear
also my infamous despair look of what are you doing, what is it now yeh
i go for the type not the run of the mill looking guy, a bit aloof and hairy faced out of place guy minding his own business I am human something will take my fancy I'm not entirely repulsed by everything
i'm getting really hacked of at how dumb can guys get when I am not interested. Not stuck up or prissy, i'm dancing means i'm dancing.
No sexy dutty wind
the move i need space for my trippy epileptic rave dance
The hard arse pinching and backing off & retreating into the crowd. screw you. not cool
Haphazardly standing there hoping i will take notice. You bore. cheap raver
Immigrant grinders and hoverers. there should be shooting control at the borders of Dover
sometimes with all arms and legs flaying I should've punched a scum good & hard
ehm still deleting some what the fuck songs on my itunes
all the name for a faster running laptop
ORGASMIC tunes that i hold that i have forgotten about
Rikkalicious // Herve & Kissy Sellout
don't let the naff song itle throw you off
no drugs could possibly make me feel this euphoric
you know when you listen to one song and it jumps you to want to be at a venue 5am getting your groove on seek a fit guy finally from the mass of dick heads that you have been elbowing all night to back off, what the fuck are grinding me for at a rave you wanker, move. Finally you think fuck this shit, hold the fit guy and finally lock lips and the best tune is beating in the background and in that moment you could fuck the pants off him. The strobe lights hitting left right centre making you trip from the immense feeling.
i have only just recovered the last 36 hours of the events with a massive coma nap
so start 8am wakeup to begin my shop around
my purse or should i say my card got absolutely abused hard
shopped hard spent hard i cant emphasize this enough!
and then to the sample sale at the end of the day which i grimaced the thought of buying more
more pain to the credit card
but the collection was beautiful and one of them 'its a one-off, no one else will have it, i'm getting this for a bargain price, the jealousy of people wondering where can they buy it' therefore good reasons to buy it!
mine mine mine plus i don't have to lose sleep over it
after the intense shopping i met up with my friend and headed to see The Chemical Brothers dj
and i mean cardio-military style raving till 6am
my knees are all creaking and sore from that night, for chemical brothers its oh so worth it
i met someone, lets call him Hugo nothing serious but happy
and some twated girl tried to steal my belongings including my bag, she got very flustered when i told her to hand it back over.
not clever just retarded
the music was euphoric really need to track what they played
note. fucking private number calling 3:29am can't believe i hesitated about answering it as I cant second guess who it could've been. Afterall, there are numerous texts that i forget to reply, im am an absolute shit, so possible angry friends. Still check the time.. stalker. Definitely maybee
i discovered something that changed my perspective
i am surprised that passing people that have come into my life to know they take medication for their mind threshold and complexities.
as in they are mentally retarded a word people cannot gage with the deformities and cannot control the realities in life and use chemicals to hold them in place. Its strange that, when you think about this in depth.
sometimes i wonder how does my thinking develop, although I have serious skeptic thinking series where it divulges into the anomaly where it becomes so unexplainable I feel that it runs parallel to the trippy disfunctional memories that traps me immediately and i see this in some people and connect with them on a paranormal level.
to be be honest, in black and white i think i'm fucking mental after reading this back as would you all, but when you voice this out, its crazy to read what the mind thinks.
its raining really heavily outside and it's way into the late 3am zone and its blustering so hard you feel like the roof is going to be ripped right off. I like the sound how it makes you feel vulnerable but safe at the same time.
The weather is fueling my mood. Dark, miserable, grey and frowning. I'm really unhappy at the moment and just can't define why. Its just because.
I have so much work to do, I haven't started. I want to, but I just can't do it. I feel really depressed, angry and want everything else other than what I already have. To be happy. Nearly said 'fucking' happy but that makes me sound ungrateful and a bit of a prick.