Tuesday, 27 April 2010


i am a pathetic shit

hall & Oates // Out of touch (Jackson RMX)

so to more of my pathetic-ness

i seem to be more motivated to quickly loose the fat

ahem just in case i bump into him

y'know how it is


ok time to bust this carb fuelling affair that's been going on far too long

and I haven't even started on the chocolate Lindt bunnies saved from easter

what a HARSH shame

really need to shift the fat

Drop the tough


really did not expect this

it's completely out of the blue

ex number. 6 has got in touch


and the dumbest thing is

I think i secretly still like him

and I feel like a complete loser and not cool

why is this happening

i'm looking into this so much

but fuck i miss him

eugh and i keep swearing which is so disgusting of me





not so good times

bad times

i die

and i'm getting cautiously fat

boo more

Sunday, 25 April 2010

Shola Ama

oh my days

I remember thiss

feels so good (EZ's More to the floor mix) // B15 Project Feat. Shola Ama & Ms. Dynamite

god it's so much slower than I remembered

I seem to have levitated towards Drum & Bass and acid over the time

this seems more of a house and soul vibe..



trying to be deadline savvy and work early

really hope this works in favor



lets not have me die towards the back to back deadlines that are waiting to cull me

oh remember this

Jaheim // Just incase (dub-a-holics rollers revival)

from the pure garage CD collection

this brings back old school sunny days I had

back in the day when ghetto was in vogue

I remember vaguely that I wouldn't survive the scene

it was so dangerous for my liking

I wonder if it's a friendly zone yet

with back in the days of shola Ama tracks remixed

such classics

oh how I miss this

Saturday, 24 April 2010


Nay to the trend Clogs

if you have the feet to pull it off and you ARE Alexa Chung then do it

it grates on me when dare i say it

'normal' people follow trends

i cringe hard

and murmuring
'just don't do it'

and also reveal the public's unsightly roughed heels

and prune-y pale feet skin that haven't received the holiday glow yet

so bad

then what to wear with the clogs

your everyday outfit does not suffice


i cringed and melted hard when I witnessed the devastation of this

kind of like a poor version of Dolly Parton

without the gusto

really bad

so bad



i'm still reeling from this

i got paw slapped by a cat today

and feel quite furious about!

what can I say

there's this kitty that strays into my home for whatever reason I'm not sure

probably some sort of cat mafia marking it's territory everywhere

so it's collar dropped off and I went to try and clip it back on


for the owners concern kind of thing

so anyway

the cat paw slapped me away

kind of like a paw high five

but a down high five with claws

and I have claw scratch on my hand

which kind of infuriates me everytime i look at it

becos i was trying to do something out of goodwill for the kitty


I hate cats

even more reinstated now


sun music

happy music

undercover martyn (passion pit RMX) // Two door cinema club


parents may be moving abroad


this summer

i need a job

big time

and juggle an internship

lets make it happen


is there anything more gutting

with the sun out

and everyone

but you

are having bbq's

after feeling quite smug earlier in the week having a bbq

although catching a bit too much sun

sun burnt again
silly me

now i want some that bbq chicken goodyness

and from my window i can spot the neighbours from a distance turning over sausages

and whats that

burgers too


Thursday, 22 April 2010

i forget

i forgot i own filth on in my itunes


Henok Achido Sophia Somajo // Pusher






Wednesday, 21 April 2010


am i late on this

Two door cinema club // something good can work (The Twelves RMX)

how good is this?

where the hell have i been

some jam goodness

i like

Tuesday, 20 April 2010


blown away


Joshua Radin // No Envy no fear

heart murmuring beautiful

this has caught me

this guy is good...

New Song

oh i do like

Mystery Jets // flash a hungry smile

new sounds from the boys on a come back

the tingly feeling is back

really happy they still sound refreshing






The Bravery // No brakes

played last 22/09/2008

I'm thinking this must be my summer routine song


but glad to know I go back to my trusty classics now
but after 2 years neglect



The Doves // Black & White town

i use to do mix playlist's a lot

this reminds me of pairing with The Bravery

what happened to them?

The Bravery // An honest mistake

The Bravery // An honest mistake (super discount RMX)


the doves front singer has a lisp

not a bad thing

just an observation


i'm getting this massive nostalgia thing going

really cringe worthy when you get that moment to want to listen to momentus tungage

avec ecoutez

The Doves // pounding

oh how I miss manchester



i just beat 2 deadlines

only 3 more

before joyous freedom!


after my intense napping indulgence

I sit wide wake

well it was a hearty 4 weeks worth of missed sleep

well deserved I say

some cheesy nostalgia music listening

jesus and the mary chain // just like honey


have not heard this in so long!

Sunday, 18 April 2010





Saturday, 17 April 2010

oh yeah

hello hay fever

i sneeze you

apparently eating lots of onion

raw is best

this helps with numbing your senses against the pollen

i'm such a bio geek

it's ok

i happen to like onion

shallots especially


sun music

the sweetness of air france // Taken By Trees

i don't really understand what the title of the song means

but I'm liking the sound

no clouds in the sky today

Friday, 16 April 2010

want really like now

could really benefit for a morgan spiced with ice cold apple juice with lots of ice and a few sprigs of mint in a generous jug

one can only wish

and anticipate

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

no time





fuck panic

death bed


hate this

pissed off iii

this really hacks me off

people living off benefits

child benefits, housing benefits,


are you kidding me


what the fuck is that all about

article about a family exploiting the system to claim every type of benefit out there is a fucking outrage that they have the best of luxury living because of this and still want more..


spotted a skanky indian hobo inbreded immigrant on the train

brandishing his numerous techno gadgets for all commuters to see

iphone, blackberry, sony ericsson and headset

what the fuck

what the fuck

because of fucking benefits

they have all these luxury ammenities, things that I haven't even got


because I am a tax payer

making these allowances for these skanks to own these luxuries

while I am struggling to make a comfortable living

I am living on a tight budget

I can't afford to spend

where yesterday I was in doubt of purchasing something as simple as nail varnish gave me doubts about spending sensible

it baffles me why this is

and when it comes down to it
it just isn't fair

Saturday, 10 April 2010

ex-lover attribute

'i rub my eyes when i'm tired i do'

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

he gave the best hugs I have ever received



a pleasant memoir

almost forgot

a business man kindly tidied all the newspaper that littered the whole tube carriage

no joke the mass of paper that is flung everywhere in a London tube carriage
the nostalgia of the newspaper smell is intense of that carbon acid smell

almost if the color gray and beige had a smell, it would smell of this

but ye

he kindly tidied all the papers around me
really courteous and apologetic of the papers littered


I'm really warming to commuters

what a difference it makes from my previous times
i am in a airy mood

its definitely the caffeine effect

and bed time
nightios adios

i have fat knees


when i tip toe on my chair

to look in my A4 sized mirror

(so tragic)

I can see the damage those biscuits and others

namely my fix


have made home on my thighs

and feeling spongy around the body

I use to be able to coil my body and have my elbow placed on the pelvis like a shelf


i'm shunted and no resting of the elbow is happening

i sometimes get the momentum back

and reunite myself with my hips

but i'm guessing my monthly period is going to annihilate me

with the force of bagels

god my knees look spongy


After the experimental beauty trial on myself

I used pure coconut oil

which is essentially fat therefore where it dried and settled it was quite a solid state

after showering it off, it probably has done it's beneficial treatment to my hair/scalp, but my hair is left looking greasy and chunky

coconut oil contains a certain fat that is really a super fat that no other oil has that can benefit as a beauty treatment i read up

I might use this as a weekend treatment

definitely not for the weekday treatment where I don't want to brandish greasy hair in front of people where they will think you haven't showered for days

people always assume the worst

i would too to be honest


at the peak of my healthy days

healthy ways

i use to take 9 vitamins

3 at a time to break it up

Vitamin B12
Vitamin E
Vitamin D
Vitamin ABC
Primrose Oil
Vitamin C
+ edit // and milk thistle

wow plus two more..

this list scares me a lot..

the reason for these specific tablets are for skin, hair, nails, metabolism, skin healing, good for periods and coping with life
( echinacea for when your ill, milk thistle for a boozy night after and B12 to cope with the pace of life.. and i use to take the multivitamin in thought of rounding off coverage..)

I have a weird relationship with them

I use to be repulsed by the idea

and sometimes would believe they are a life saver

I still am not sure if they have benefited me

maybe they have a placebo effect on me to steer me to look after myself

I am now currently only taking 3 vitamins

B6 this time
Zinc + ABC
Primrose Oil

and I just finished the round off Vitamin E bottle..

just realizing all this is scary


hooked and reeled in to beauty channels on youtube..

watching model takes on style.com..

this resulted in beautifying myself

less of the self hating

it's all about the trying

i read coconut oil on hair works wonders

i am sat greased up to the nines

my hair is dowsed

fingers crossed!

the summers here

and there's no escaping it

so i will try and overcome my struggle with this season

look after my body/shape

look after my health

and be good to myself

positive thinking

Thursday, 8 April 2010


i'm ill

i feel AND look like shit

i hate the sun

i'm trying to recover from sunburnt

this day feels like no other

no other by means. shit

also what is with my constant drippy nose

it's warm today

and i am sniffley (however you spell it)

i am ill

i am ill

i want to cave in

Monday, 5 April 2010



holy mackerel


ok firstly

trying to make sense of this

and then to have a major typo in the script

-where the second T was a R..

-and to have a bleeding hyphen after the De

do not want to get technical

what a load of bull crap that I am trying to make sense of through the load of bull crap that's already there

and this is suppose to be Fashion context



good luck me


sunday listening

new romantics

gary newman



also a bit miffed off with mac updates

trying to get a momentum going with work

slowing down my laptop






eugh reading material

the writer keeps mentioning the word


such a fucking phony

pretentious twat

what a load of nonsense


not going to lie but i looked up the word

and i find it such a revolting word

and to keep reusing the word your theories


so vulgar

raging it out

the chemical brothers // saturate


to conclude

i have a package that should arrive this week!

but this is something i really need

no i really need this

I would've got it sooner or later

and if the price rose

i would've been kicking myself that i should've bought it sooner or later

it was the better of two evils


Elizabeth Arden 8 Hour cream/balm 50ml

is immense immense immense

it's going to be my investment product

after being introduced to this I have never been more happier

it cherishes my skin over the madness of the windy weather

feels like ice cubes are being thrown at your face type weather

this thick cream/balm is a skin saver

and ah

glory cream

i am in love with

also i'm down to my last reserves of the cream
really anticipating for it to come in the post

buy buy buy

i'm in a rut

i want new things

but looking at my situation

space to put them


money of course

and what the hell am I thinking

the deadline

but anyway

this needing and wanting is too great of a deal

I just want new things

things that i don't have

things that slightly vary to the things i already have

this is a bad attitude

over the past couple of weeks

all i've been doing is splurging

and being irresponsible


and down right greedy


it's become a kind of habit where I have to really think hard to control



and feeling blah

just want to buy happyness

i want new shoes

i want new shoes

i want new shoes

i want new shoes

i want new shoes

i want new shoes

i want new shoes

Sunday, 4 April 2010


a little moment


my macbook is getting creaky

i feel a slight urging panic coming on

it creaks when i pick it up

when i lean on it

and when i open it up i pray that it doesn't snap and break

+another thing, the plastic trimming around the edges are gapping from the metal
so when i lean when i'm typing it pinches my skin
which is not so nice and distracting
should i really start to worry and get advice now, this could lead to something serious in the future

my macbook is literally my lifeline

ooh listen it creaks when my paws lean on the sides..

i need to look after it more

be a bit more caring towards it

my macbook is sick :(


hello deadline






Jai Paul // BTSTU (Demo/new mix)





just found really old photos

old memories

god i was so slim


skinny bitch