Thursday, 6 August 2009


I'm listening to Fleet Foxes, winding down for bed.

I won't read a book to sleep.

No, not after last time, i got so submerged into the book and the adventures it unravelled and of course i was falling into the sleepy mode and the story effected my dream process. Did not like that because everything feels all very deja vu. (hate using that word, but at this very hour I can't think of a word best to describe so it will to do)

I feel as though my life has come to a stand still. I've become familiar with things all too very well, this bugs me. I need a challenge, I'm bored of myself. The Changes that have my way were exciting but now I've become comfortable. My heart doesn't race faster anymore and I miss this.

I need to figure out what my next step is. Pick up the pace a little, things are set in stone from mid-September, plenty of occupation. But the time now, where?

Also I'm procrastinating about getting my hair cut. Leave long and get a whole new hair style and convenience is good for time constraints. New hair cut, tackle it and get use to it. Change is good?

neither here nor there.

Another thing that is bugging me about me.

Relationships. I haven't exclusively ended a couple of relationships over the years, it was never serious and we remained friends. Its like they all synchronize in and out of my life. I never attached myself because of past serious relationships. Because if it's not the real deal why put myself through that dreadful time, when time turns bad.

In the last couple of years have been brilliant, the people I've met and how they made me feel. I don't know where this is leading but I'm pretty tired, think i'll call it a night.

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